Katy Faust is the founder THEM BEFORE US, an organization dedicated to giving children a voice in the debate over family structure. She asserts that society and even government policy should prioritize children’s rights over adult desires.
As a follow up to the discussion about the loss adopted children experience, I asked her about the loss children of divorce experience, especially pertaining to the issue of “no-fault” divorce.
Katy asserted what few people will admit: The redefinition of marriage began with no-fault divorce. Instead of being an institution designed to keep parents attached to their children, it is now viewed as a vehicle for adult fulfillment. This shift has changed the entire discussion about marriage, it has even influenced public policy and laws, and it has negatively impacted children and society as a whole.
If marriage is simply a vehicle for adult fulfillment, why not have same-sex marriage, or throuples, or divorce for any reason or no reason, any other deviation from the traditional norm of one man and one woman until death do you part?
When marriage is viewed primarily as a vehicle for adult fulfillment, the rights of the child are trampled upon, and children suffer. As a group, children of divorce are at a distinct disadvantage to children who come from intact families. Divorce is the beginning of a multiple losses, changes, and transitions that children experience. Instead of adults sacrificing for children, children are forced to pay the price of the loss of one or both parents and a possible lifetime of grief for adult fulfillment. That is simply too high of a price for them to have to pay.
Marriage is a children’s right issue. Marriage is a social justice issue.
It is time for the church to regain its voice and moral courage and speaking to the issue of divorce. The church should be silent and cowardly no longer.
For more information about #ThemBeforeUs, please visit