Feeling Forever Alone? 4 Ways To Consciously Rekindle Self-Love — Amanda Linette Meder


1. Consciously foster your social connections

Spending time with friends is a great way to boost your mood. 

According to several studies, having strong, healthy social connections is positively associated with physical and mental well-being. And social isolation is linked to chronic illness and mental health issues.

So, if you’re feeling isolated, challenge yourself to reach out to people you love and care about. Be conscious — being a present, mindful listener — and exude love through your actions.

Not only will you raise your emotional vibration (goodbye, sadness!), you’ll feel better about yourself. You’ll also remember just how amazing you really are. And how amazing the people in your life are.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Send snail mail Valentine’s Day cards to your friends and family, and write a thoughtful message of appreciation inside. 

  • Schedule an extended phone call (30+ minutes) with a loved one on February 14. Even if you’re not spending time in-person with them, you’ll be able to connect more deeply.

  • Organize a Galentine’s Day event for all your friends that don’t have other plans. Doing an activity that fosters deep listening and authentic sharing is ideal.

  • Volunteer. Giving back to the community can make you feel great, and it’s also a great way to build social connections or even meet a potential partner.

Remember: energy follows intention. So, when you’re following through on these ideas, be sure to set a clear, loving intention that supports the results you want to create. And release attachment to the outcome!

2. Have amazing, conscious lovemaking with yourself

Another way to bring the focus back to yourself and to rekindle your love for yourself is to celebrate your body through conscious solo lovemaking.

Self-stimulation makes you feel good for several reasons. For example, during orgasm, the endorphins dopamine and oxytocin are released, and the combination of hormones released improves sleep patterns. 

To make your solo love session dynamic and healing, be sure to set an intention at the beginning of the evening. One of my favorite intentions is processing and integrating a particular experience or emotion.

If you want to expand the experience, turn it into a bona fide date night for yourself:

  • Light some candles, pour some wine, eat some dark chocolate, and soak in the tub while listening to your favorite music. Once you’re nice and relaxed, head to the bedroom and show yourself some love. 

  • Once you’re in the bedroom, savor the experience. A good thing to ask yourself: how would you want your partners to touch you? How closely can you replicate that tenderness and level of care? 

  • For maximum pleasure, be sure to work with your body’s natural arousal patterns. If you’re female-identifying, start by touching your collarbones, arms, torso, pelvis, winding in toward your lower regions. If you’re male-identifying, create the reverse pattern: focus first down around the shaft and then move that energy up the torso and throughout the body.

  • To go even deeper into creating a conscious love practice, take the time to learn more about how to have sacred lovemaking. That might include giving yourself aftercare or shifting some of the language and stories you have around conscious lovemaking.

From there, breathe deeply, and focus on what it feels like to touch your body. Create as much pleasure for yourself as possible, immerse yourself in the experience, and release any goal-focused mindset. 

If you do choose to orgasm, you can increase the intensity by clenching and holding your pelvic floor muscles while breathing deeply.

It will also support you in moving that orgasmic energy through your entire body, instead of having it be locally focused at your genitals. And I promise: this full-body experience will make your conscious love session much more satisfying.

3. Listen to an empowering self-love meditation

There’s no better way to embrace who you really are than to reconnect with your spirit, and meditation is a great way to do that. 

Mindfulness reduces the impact of chronic pain and challenging emotions, and it supports overall mental and physical well-being. And by becoming practiced with meditation, you’re lessening the likelihood that your brain is responding as strongly to emotional stimuli.

Because there are so many meditation options out there, take a little time to explore which self-love meditation resonates with you. A couple of my favorite meditation apps are the Meditation Studio app and Insight Timer. 

I’ve explored a few different ones, and I really like these two because of the flexibility, the diversity of the guided meditations, and the price point.

Insight Timer is particularly great for the following reasons:

  • There’s a free version of the app, which is wonderful. With the free version, I have access to 32,000+ guided meditations. There’s also paid version of the app.

  • Several different modes exist in the app, including using the timer to meditate, following standard guided meditations, or listening to bedtime stories. 

  • In addition to meditations and bedtime stories, there are talks (think: podcast episodes). And, if you become a member, there are even multiple-day meditation courses.

  • There’s a powerful search feature, which directs you to the specific meditations that meet your specific criteria.

  • Insight Timer has meditations in English and Spanish. If Spanish is your native language, you can find meditations to promote self-love and improve sleep. You can check out the Insight Timer App here.

If you decide to have a date night with yourself on Valentine’s Day, then you could incorporate a empowering self-love meditation into the process.

For example, maybe you decide to listen to the guided meditation while you’re in the bath. Or maybe you have it on while you’re making dinner, practicing conscious solo lovemaking, or ending your evening.

Looking for specific recommendations for a powerful meditation? This short Divine Feminine meditation will support you in reclaiming all aspects of yourself while putting you in a receptive space to love yourself more.

This meditation infuses energy healing and intuitive toning to deepen your healing.

4. Create a self-love vibration board

Yet another way to rekindle positive love feelings for yourself is to get artsy and create a vibration board.

A vibration board is a variation on the traditional vision board because it also incorporates objects and elements that you’ve already manifested in your life, rather than just pictures of things that you currently lack.

For example, if you have a great friend circle, you might include a picture of you with all your friends on your vibration board.

You might also include inspirational sayings that you cut out of magazines or find on the internet. For example, I have a coaching client who put the phrase, “Small steps, big gains” on hers, and it’s continued to motivate and inspire her to take consistent, positive action even when times have been challenging in her life and relationships.

Some psychotherapists say that traditional vision boards don’t work because the brain believes it’s already achieved what’s pictured on the vision board. It takes the focus away from the positive, daily action that’s required to accomplish that goal. 

However, with a vibration board, the focus is equally on what you’ve already manifested, so you’re reaping the psychological benefits of expressing gratitude. 

More importantly, you’re raising your own vibration, and you’re bringing the things that you want into vibrational alignment with the things that you already have and enjoy in your life. 

As an added bonus, if the intention, theme, and focus of your vibration board is “self-love,” that creates a positive feedback loop. 

Dr. Kristin Neff at the University of Texas found that by cultivating self-love, you feel less stress, you’re more productive, and you have more strength. In turn, you’re more likely to work toward your goals and feel more compassion for yourself, further increasing productivity, and decreasing stress.

Talk about a win-win scenario.

Here are some ideas to inspire and strengthen the impact of your vibration board:

  • Get copies of your favorite magazine and cut out any words that call to you. Once you’ve cut out a number of words, phrases, and sentences, intuitively pull them and place them onto your vibration board.

    One of my favorite magazines for vision/vibration boards is Yoga Magazine because of its inspiring content and aligned sayings.

  • Gather some of your cherished trinkets: ticket stubs, photos, old birthday cards, awards and certificates, newspaper clippings, and other miscellaneous treasures.

    See if you feel guided to incorporate any of these items into your vibration board. Not only will it give your vibration board more depth, but it will also remind you of all the things you can already celebrate, and of all the amazing things you’ve already created.

  • Set a clear intention for your creative time, and for the vibration board itself. To strengthen the experience tenfold, be sure to verbalize or vocalize your intention for the board before you get started. You can even call in your spirit guides and ask them to be with you for the duration of the creative exercise.

  • Before you cover your vibration board with stickers, magazine images, and other materials, write out what you love and what you’re grateful for in your favorite color ink.

    Not only will this give you a super epic background, but it will infuse the vibration board with even more high-vibrational energy.

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