ANGER MANAGEMENT IN MARRIAGE★ MUSLIM MATRIMONIAL CANADA, USA WORLDWIDE

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Anger is a very strong negative emotion and can cause a lot of hurt and pain. It can vary in intensity from irritation, annoyance, fury, or rage.
I have seen so many marriages break-up due to 2 reasons that is Anger and Ego which go hand in hand.
The cause of Anger can be Hurt, Frustration, Harassment, injustice, unfair criticism, and threats.

In marriage the relationship of a couple in marriage can be a strong one but it can also be a very delicate one at times. Most often in marital relationships, Anger is a test husband and wife’s patience, level of compromise, and level of tolerance.
Now the question is What is the Danger of Anger in a marriage??
In most cases, it is Anger that leads to divorce. The Prophet Muhammad once said, “Of all the lawful things, divorce is the most hated by Allah.”

That is why proper management of anger is important, therefore you have to make sure you do not say something that you can regret forever. Allah has made it easy for us to follow the example of the life of the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH).

So what would you do to defeat the Shaytaan who uses Anger as a tool to separate the spouses and It is important to handle it by the cause and effect?
1. control over our feelings if and when we get into an argument with our spouses. Just think that this is another bump in your marriage and you need to get over it.

2.It could be a difference of opinion with your way of spending finances, or your husband doesn’t agree with your way of raising the children, this will definitely lead to arguments between the 2 of you.

But remember arguments will only aggravate matters and no solution is reached. STOP. Stop and think. Keep a calm head. Just stop talking.

When a husband and wife are angry with each other, it is the perfect setting for the Shaytaan to hit its arrow in the right spot and destroy what’s left. We must not let that happen.

We must follow the example of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) and control our anger. It is reported that when the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) was angry with any one of his wives, he would stay quiet. This would help him calm down and after a  while, all would be forgotten.

According to a tradition of his, the best way to control anger is to do ablution or drink water or to lie down on the floor. THIS is what the Prophet (PBUH) followed and we should also do the same. 

MY ADVICE “DO NOT SAY A WORD”
Never be angry with your spouse and fall asleep for the night. Allah has said in the Holy Quran: {And among His Signs is that He created for you spouses from amongst yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts; truly in that are Signs for those who reflect.} (30:21).

Allah has used the words tranquility and peace. Calmness and serenity. Doesn’t this give you an immense sense of pleasure? Do you really want to ruin this tranquility by having harsh arguments and through a show of anger in your marital relationship? These words describe the completeness that is needed from marriage, make sure you embrace them. 

1.JUST WAIT IT OUT.-which I have already explained
2.Challenge or question your beliefs – this could be something that you were brought up with. Men don’t cook? Or clean? Why because your Mom told you so?
3.Step outside yourself and think from a third party perspective. Just think that you are giving advice to a friend if he is going through this issue and what advice would you give him or her? Make a list and come up with healthy solutions.
4.Communication, Communication, Communication: Spouses need to talk and clear the air that is effecting their relationship. Avoid the silent treatment Nip the problem at the bud before it becomes a big one and this can only be done by discussing with each other.

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